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What the C7 always should have been. No stupid little vents, no crap panel gaps, no fake carbon “faux-ber”. Not hideous plastic “splitter”. No quadraexhaust clashing with the back end. No “brand marketing” Malibu/Camaro/Traverse taillights. Just Stingray.

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I’ve been wondering lately about whether this generation Impala is really add ugly as people give it crap for being (or at least it gets that vive around my house). This ‘03, with the SS rims and completely unnecessary spoiler, actually manages to look pretty sharp in my book, even in this awful look-at-me-I’m-103 beige. Especially at night, when those ‘Vette-esque taillights come on, the Impala manages to look better than its typical driver (not that that’s usually to much of a challenge). What do you ask think? Has the Impala earned this slosh status, or should it go back home to the trailer park?

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Can BBS rims really make anything look good? I think yes. Any sort of gold honeycomb or snowflake style rim is the pinnacle of class as far as cars are concerned. Not to mention the fact that good ones weigh less than your average Ethiopian. If they can make a 1993 Town & Country look good like they do here, what CAN’T these majestic golden masterpieces do? 

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"Kids in the BACK SEAT may cause ACCIDENTS. ACCIDENTS in the BACK SEAT may cause Kids. So…….NO BACK SEAT=NO ACCIDENTS"

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So, tonight at my grandparents’ house, after we finally finish gorging ourself on Chow Mein and apple dumplins, my dear old grandfather whips out some ancient home movies. Back in those days there was no sound, so my grandma makes the decision that “Hey, Kenny Rodgers is a worthy alternative to dialogue, let’s pop in a CD and put it on eternal repeat!” So we watch for, I don’t know, an hour and a half of some frankly excellent cinematography, all the while easy listening blasting out of the hi-fi. And so we relived my mother and aunt’s childhood through silent movies, watching not only their first steps but their first 5 or so Christmases and birthdays. It’s so strange to see how your parents/grandparents looked back in the day when they were your age or younger. I for one have always found it difficult, if nigh on impossible, to picture them as twentysomethings or - godforbid - teenagers!! So just take the time to have a good time with your family this Veteran’s Day weekend and let them know how much you appreciate them. 

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Debadging cars- Yay or Nay? My brother just scraped all the badges off his Toyota Camry Solara, and now its bare rump looks… well, naked. I’m all for taking off SOME of the badges, but a fully nekkid trunk looks ridiculous. This Subie kind of goes against me a little bit since the rear wing gives it some sort of visual interest, but the point is there. Taking all the badges off the back of your ride is as weird and awkward as a fully grown man shaving his legs, and it’s about as attractive. If you don’t like advertising who made your car, have some decency and at least invest in some fake badges from eBay or something. It’s just one of my automotive pet peeves, much along the lines of people who drive convertibles with the top up or with the top down and windows up. Come on now people.

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"The world is full of suffering; it is also full of overcoming it."

- Helen Keller- yes, she was able to produce quotes other than “blaaaaraghaghhhgh”
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"Everything’s okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end."

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